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My Broken, but Beautiful Journey

The past few years have been the hardest out of my entire life. I have suffered family tragedies, health complications, and tensions in my life with personal struggles.

It has been a long and rough road: my parents losing their best friend in a tragic boating accident; my uncle from defeating cancer only to sign previously a DNR and the hospital giving him too much medicine, slipping into a coma, thus dying; my mother losing two aunts in one week; and just recently, my grandfather passing away just last month from congestive heart failure.

I was diagnosed two years ago with a syndrome that disables me to have children on my own; when the time comes to have a child, I will be required to use extra help and medicine to help my reproductive organs actually work. I was only 18 at the time, and the thought that having a child was taken away from me before it was even an option was devastating.

And in the midst of it all, I went through times where I was slipping into depression and loneliness. It was brutal. I felt alone, broken, and needing something radical to change it.

It was as if a darkness followed me wherever I went. I tried to engage with people even though I didn’t enjoy it. I tried to do activities that I enjoyed to make life seem a little less dampening with everything going on. However, there is only one thing that ever gave me constant hope…

Jesus Christ.

He gave me grace to go through the road I went through

because

I’m

still

standing.

Coming out of the dark time with tragedy everywhere I looked was a slow process; it wasn’t overnight. I had to seek God and only his “peace that surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Doing my devotions was the ONLY amount of hope. It was the only thing I knew to do that would help me. And that was because I knew the promises of God, not because I felt like it. I felt like life was bad, but I knew God was good. So I sought Him and the only fix to my broken road.

Through that long, cycling healing process, God taught me some things.

He spoke to me that He was my only hope. I had to stop looking to friends to make me feel better or aid my happiness. I had to look to God. I asked him to show himself to me. Instead of focusing all my efforts on the things going wrong, I focused on finding more of God, and leaning into him for my breakthrough.

I learned also that once you’ve been broken you can there is a new connection to reaching other broken people. I don’t want to go through trials and not be able to help someone else that is hurting. I want my struggles and experiences to help people.

I have found that such hope is found only through Christ. And that only pure joy comes from diving into God and his presence. 

Ultimately, my circumstances did not change, but rather my perception of God. He isn’t a God somewhere far, not moving in real time. He is a God that is right beside you, seeing you at ALL times.

He saves us from destruction and has plans of hope for our lives, but allows us to go through difficulties to become a better person and to trust Him more fully. Easier said than done, but when you lean into God and searching for him, breakthroughs are sure to come.

Not only that, God is preparing you for greater things. You can do this. 

Now I am the happiest I have ever been. Of course I have days that are terrible, but I know that I have ope in the Lord, trusting that he never gives me more than I can take, and never leaving my side. I am not affected by my circumstances, because I have a Lord that is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Take hope. For the hope we have trusted and joy found in the Lord shall not return void, neither will his promises. I pray that you are encouraged today, and realize that trials are a part of life, but knowing Christ, Earth is the only hell you will know. Heaven will be glorious, and all that time during our life that was rough, will be rewarded with eternal presence of the most high.

You can do this. You were given this life because you can handle it.

As always, be blessed.

Time Management and Sabbath

ImageCurrently, I am a junior in college, taking 17 credit hours, working 20 hours a week, working a scholarship job for school in addition to that, play intramural sports, and manage to stay in one piece. How in the world could I do such and still be standing? Time management. 

There are things in your life that are essential, like paying your bills, working, and taking care of you body, and some are definitely not, like watching 4 hours of kittens on youtube, taking up a new hobby like advanced origami, and teaching your canary to sing Madonna. 

I make those silly analogies to help you realize that in life your priorities need to be straight. But why is that so hard? Because we lack focus and discipline. Sorry I called you out, and trust me, it isn’t fun when I have to do it to myself. Well where do I start? I’m glad you asked. 

I have things that I plan my weeks by. Look ahead to see if something is coming up, and PLAN ACCORDINGLY. Don’t brush it off your shoulder as if it’s not important because doing that will bit you in the butt. 

Put your essentials first: work, homework, chores, and personal care like exercising and eating right. THEN may you move into “extracurricular activities.” Make sure you accomplish those things before moving on the next. When you take care of A, B, C, and D properly, you can then fully dive into E and F. 

Be efficient and productive. Don’t get distracted (easier said than done I’m aware). But being focused will save you more time, and then when you do relax it is more fulfilling because you are not worried about other things to do. Image

One HUGE THING TO STRESS is the idea of a Sabbath. Honestly, this is one of the most important concepts in life I have found and it does me wonders. Out of your week, take a Sabbath; that is, plan a day or a few hours time of rest and relaxation. Not taking time to sit down and rest and enjoy life will burn you out. Trust me, I’ve been victim to this before. 

If you do not refuel and relax your mind, it can lead to serious health problems wearing down your immune system, and even warping your mental health and stability. 

So in between all the important priorities, make resting a part of one. Seriously take a few hours and do what you enjoy. Not only will it be fun, but it will also refresh your mind to be sharper moving ahead. Not resting is simply counterproductive. 

I might not know the absolute key to time management, but with my crazy schedule, being efficient and taking a time of rest goes further than most think.  But the biggest thing is to in the midst of it all take care of yourself, plan accordingly, and make time to rest. 

As always, be blessed. 

Things to Stop Doing to Yourself: Part 2

Just a few days ago I wrote about “Things to Stop Doing to Yourself: Part 2” and I wanted to write the next installment. There are things in life that you cannot spare for yourself. It is vital to personal and mental health by taking care of yourself. Here are some more things to do just that.

  1. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. Relationships are meant to be chosen wisely, not flippantly or haphazardly. It is truly better to be alone than to be in bad company. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says “bad company corrupts good character.” There’s no need to rush. With friendships. And in romance. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely. I have been single for the past 1 and a half, only having previously one boyfriend. Truly, it has been the best time waiting in singleness. Better wait.
  2. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. This is something I actually am working on myself. I have had friendships fall out and it seems like it won’t work positively again. BUT. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. Most importantly, some will bring out the best in you. Trust me, you met that person for a reason, either as a lesson, or a blessing.
  3. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. Take bliss in the little things, because one day you will look back and see that they were the big things. Every foundation starts with a small, tightly packed base. These are those small things. Do not overlook them. The best part of your life will be the small, nameless moments that you cannot buy.
  4. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. Doing so is completely impossible, and you will tire yourself constantly trying to do so; it will burn you out. But making ONE person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but THEIR, IMPORTANT world. So narrow your focus.
  5. Stop being ungrateful. No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing. You are living, breathing, and reading. You are more blessed than nearly half the world. Think about that, and let that sink in.

I hope this offered some encouragement to your day. Please try to lighten your load, and take care of yourself. Once you do, I promise life will be brighter.

As always, be blessed.

Passion= Emotion

Passions.

What are yours? What moves you? Music? Photography? Civil Justice? Adventure?

It has been said that what you are passionate about you are emotional about. 

Your passions move you. They make your heart speed up. 

Whatever your passion be, chase after it. There is a reason why it moves you so, and to such great lengths. Your destiny can be bundled and intertwined in the layers of those passions and help you discover what the next season of your life actually is. 

And while you chase your passions, your dreams, never lose sight of what made your heart flutter in the first place.